PrincipessaSharadin

Ah, man, i hven't been on here in a loong time. and i have been a lot better since i have. im happier, have had a lot of fun with my friends, made new ones and i'm a senior woot! now, i do have to create a lot of pieces of art in order to get into college, thats gonna be difficult becuase i have no idea what im gonna do, and it has to be revolved around a thesis concept..soo yeah, but otherwise im feelin A LOT better and i'm really blessed to be stronger and alive jai guru deva <3

~ oh and i may add more sketches soon, i've been making some new characters and stuff so yeah , any one got any suggestions on what i could make for my senior thesis college art work?

I cant be happy loving someone else for once besides friends and fam bcuz i have to learn to be strong first, so when my heart is broken once again, i can move on a little faster, but damnit i deserve a fuckin chance, yeah it'll blind me, so? i'll be the happiest blind person in the world! To be in someone's arms that actually means what they say when they say I love you, or something of that matter, damnit i deserve it, im tired of flopping over and over, give me what i deserve, do i? idc i know i damn well do,i'm not a girl i'm a woman! i know god damn well what's up! what i want! what i need! and i'll get it! i'll show you all! ....huh it's all i ask for, it aint a lot. is it? it can't even be bought! i can buy shit on my own, but for someone else to be there for me especially..not trying to go after all my other friends, they like me for the chillness that i am, my jokes, my style, my shyness, my love for life and music , my drive, my rosey cheeks, bright tiny eyes, my optimism, my awkwardness, i have lots to give and this giving container is bout to explode and ooze out or something bcuz i've had it full for a long while now, it's beginning to fuckin overflow, i need a mutherfuckin man >_> i know, him? aint got all the experience in the world but hey were all growin....jesus. successful, that song, np, sun setting, talk to me, gabbi, mitch, talk to me, spirits, drive , strength, talent? talk to me! happiness, optimism, soul! light! air, nature! talk to me! everyone! give me the applause when it's my time,...please? i'm workin for it now, lets see who claps when i bow...

i am so hurt i cant cry, i began to hurt my hand, im still doing it right now. the knife is in my other hand, i cant work, draw, my face is the face of the unknown and the scary. Lucienda has awoken. roman has been injured. whats next? we'll continue to play the game. we'll play till its all, all over. mom  was right, i need rest. you know what i need? i need love, he kissed her, asked her out again, i put my heart out there like im ready, i show the universe im ready, i do and dont know whats wrong, i could tell by the moon tonight that something is going to happen. i was right, i truly am psychic. something did happen. and i died. i am a strong woman, i hit the wall, i threw the paper i cut my hand, face, arms, i listen to the music. i beat the art hand against the desk. i want that pain, i really want to cry but i thnk ive gotten to the point where i cant anymore, love for me is gone, over, let them be happy, i'll erupt eventually, whether its days from now or not. i will, she will know, she should. alexx, i could tell in her speech, were not even in the same room or hearing each others voices, but i could just tell, something wasnt going to work, then she told me, she warned me. i said thank you. then i went for the wall, i listened to the music. i threw the paper...i was right. i was damn straight right. i really am psychic. tomorrow? i want to hide it, i want to talk to her. forget it never happend, but then again no, tomorrow, im going to be the unknown. i was right about the moon, and this weekend? my time, again, i will be right here. i will go straight home, and i will be right here. i always suffer, and i wonder if i even deserve to complain. to skip school, to sleep, i should be working, working working, working working, i need to get out of here, succeed, move on, but, im held in a bound.  this has been a tough year, and i can't believe i havent gone psycho. i will though. i will, thats why im afraid to live alone when i get older, it just wont be safe. i want my hand to hurt so much. i dont want to go to sleep. i need to work. but i cant. ive lost my phone. it always happens to me, everybody knows before me, always have, michael, kali. gabi, alexx, my subconscious, the unconscious. everyone just waits for me to know, waits for me to cry. to let it be over, im always last. i let people hurt me so then in their mind i can put them in a choke hold, its a complicated mind heist, drama i cant unfold once creased. 11:11? just hope in numbers, and we all know what hope is. i wont even answer that. bass, i cant even say i love you, i cant say any of that. ive been silent for a while. i just want to be free, i just want to be free, i just want to be free. i just want to be free. cuz im ready for the funeral.  please hurt me. please hurt me. let me be free......

yeah so, we were valentines, but then the next day i predicted something strange was gonna happen and i was right, my closest friend and him planned going on a "date" on valentines day so i was like...the fuck? yeah so thats over, and now im just stressed out of my mind and infuriated with life, i think i need to talk to someone but i dont know who, kinda stuck right now, sigh so all i can do is work, and i dont like art anymore its given me pain and taken all the life out of me, i dont even enjoy doing it anymore, it's horrible :/ huh so yeah, im staying up all night getting all the work i need to turn in done, and if it's time for me to get ready for school by the time im done, i guess i'll go, but if not, or if i get too sick, i'll go to sleep and sty home, cuz man i am pretty messed up now, heart broken, stressed, suicidal thoughts, huh i feel left out, i just want to be free :/  but yeah all i can do is keep moving forward and hopefully when i get rewarded, if i ever do, i hope it's the best reward in the world and it just blows evrryones mind and makes them jealous...idk what im saying, i've been tired all day, even though i got sleep like all last night :/ but yeah huh back to work, night everyone , and happy valentines day...

wel..yeah haha i do! ah after a long ass week of spazzing about school and working, i finally get to rest, got a good nap in tonight, missed supernatural and ghost adventures :/ BUT i can watch those later, anywho yeah ugh i hate art, but thats not what im here to discuss...so theres this guy in my life...and do like him or what haha, and ha i have balls indeed
(u know what i mean lol) soo even though we both cant date right now, he says yes when i ask him to be my valentine! im floatin man <:3  oh hehe and were going to a valentines day party sunday with friends, this shall be great oh hehe i cant stop dancing, it's been a long time since love and stuff has actually worked out for me, which was..never sooo, ha yeah the first one thats actually flowing smoothly he's a sweet heart, i wish i could see him more <:3 but it's alright, were valentines, and of course, my friends are valentines to me too, but this one's special, cuz i've never had an actual valentine b4, so this is really nice < ah he said "he'd love too" i kinda feel i should really be thinking more about school right now, but damnit it's friday, the freakin weekend for pete sake! ..it's my time lol, plus i got alot of work to do 2morrow anyways so im koo < so yeah, lifes getting better, it's been a struggle for sure, so yeah, <  im, im gonna head to bed now...hehe < <3